Knowledge is power.  Conversely, unknowns can be debilitating.  Unknowns can create anxiety and worry to the point of paralysis.  In order to tackle the unknowns associated with change, we need to move away from what is familiar and comfortable.  We need to stretch ourselves and test our true potential.  This is where personal growth lies.

Although there is ease in staying within your comfort zone, I believe there is a time for rest and a time for growth.  There is a time to be comfortable and to relax as well as a time to move forward in life.  You will instinctively know when the time is right and when you feel ready, here is a proven strategy to help ease the transition.

Take the word ‘know’ out of unknown.  Educate yourself.  Seek answers to all that you are curious, unsure and fearful about.  Choose reliable sources where you will gain facts and learn the true potential risks you are concerned about.  Ultimately, grasp the realities involved and apply them to your particular situation.  Learn what you need to know to dissolve your fears.  Arm yourself with strategies to minimize risks and enhance success.  In doing so, you have taken the ‘un’ out of ‘unknown’, leaving you with ‘known’: what you know.  This translates to knowledge and knowledge is power.  Now you have the power to tackle change!

What is fear?  In terms of personal growth, Grace Cirocco, author of Take the Step: The Bridge Will Be There, writes “FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real”.  This is the most profound acronym I have ever come across that holds great truth for many situations.

When we live in fear and project outcomes based on old beliefs and past experiences, we limit our potential.  We may assume certain outcomes and leap to negativity without taking into consideration the facts and realities of today.  We tend to overlook the fact that we have grown and changed through life experiences.  We are not the same today as we were yesterday. Life hones us, like diamonds tumbling to their natural brilliance. Think back five or ten years ago and consider how your perspectives have evolved since then.  How do you see things differently today from yesterday?

Great adventure is the reward for conquering fear.  Helen Keller quotes:”Life is either a daring adventure or nothing”.  We need not leap into a daring adventure but taking one baby step at a time is all that is required to start the process of dissolving and conquering fear.

Melancholy is a state of deep sadness within.  Sometimes, you might not know why you feel sad or even where it comes from, but there it is.  Melancholy is a little unnerving especially when it consumes us and darkens our days, like dark clouds that loom overhead.

Deep sadness for extended periods can be a sign of depression, especially if it interferes with our regular daily activities.  In this case, it is often helpful to seek outside intervention in the form of a close and trusted confidante or professional support from a doctor or counsellor.

Darkness is a normal part of life.  Just as we all have good days, we also have our share of ‘not-so-good’ days.  It is a natural part of the human experience as long as it does not consume us.  Accept and acknowledge the waves of  darkness as they come and allow them to pass just as naturally as they arrived.  Shunning darkness and hiding it is harmful to your long-term health.  Work through it and have compassion for yourself.  Treat yourself as lovingly as you would others that you cherish in your life.

Negative Automatic Thoughts (NAT) are like weeds in the garden of life.  They can be as pervasive as the hardiest of weeds and grow to overwhelm us, leading to anxiety and depression.  Combatting NATs is not unlike combatting weeds.  It takes regular conscious effort in maintaining quiet and beauty in our inner gardens.

Eliminating negative automatic thoughts requires conscious, on-going effort.  Find soothing activities you enjoy and that consume your attention.  This might include a walking meditation in a beautiful setting, tapping into your creativity through writing, or visiting an art display that inspires you.  Give your active working mind the respite it needs so that problem solving can begin in its own natural way.

Once you have reached inner calm, allow insights to arise.  As they do, question your rationale.  Ask yourself “Is this true?” or have you fallen into extreme thinking with all or none.  Are you being overly hard on yourself  and is there a healthier perspective you could adopt that would serve you better?  Embrace an air of curiosity, wondering how how others might perceive this.    Have your forgiven yourself or those who keep you from happiness?  Forgiveness, in the deepest sense, is more about freeing yourself than about accepting a wrong-doing.  Forgiveness is the gateway to internal freedom.

Finally, gratitude is a powerful tool that can override persistent negative thoughts.  Think of all the things you are grateful for in life and keep them in the forefront of your mind everyday.  Stay connected with friends and seek professional help when necessary.  No amount of negativity or inner turmoil ever needs to be fought alone.   Happiness is your birthright.

The first Mind Master workshop was a great success!  I would like to thank all of my wonderful participants who joined me in exploring the topic of stress and contributing to a rich and enlightening experience.  It was a riveting session from the start and we covered much ground, ending with raucous laughter, heartfelt sharing and bonds of connection that revealed the beauty of small groups.

Shared learning is powerful.  It opens our eyes to different perspectives and allows us to gain a broader understanding of life.  It helps us to put our own situation into perspective and assess our own life with more objectivity.  Most importantly, shared learning brings us together and normalizes our experiences in life, helping us to realize that we are not alone in our journey.

It was empowering to see the group work alongside one another and grow during our two hours together.  Everyone benefited from the workshop: “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts!”  It is a simple message that reveals the power of perspectives.  Change your thinking, change your life.  Join me for a workshop and see for yourself.

Close your eyes for a moment and envision the ocean.  See the vast horizon before you.  It appears endless as everything in the distance is hazy and unclear.  In contrast, you can see with great clarity what is directly below your feet and in front of you.  Life is just like that.

Oftentimes, we get busy tending the pebbles and sand beneath our feet.  We forget to look further to see what is out there.  Perhaps there is a lighthouse, a sailboat, or some rescue apparatus.  Perhaps there are playful dolphins or seals bobbing in the water, or maybe birds soaring above.  It might just be the soothing rhythmic sounds of ocean waves, waiting for you to settle into a quiet moment of relaxation.  Remember to look up once in a while to see what is in your horizon.  Make time to enjoy the view and ponder the possibilities that lie ahead of you.

The dictionary defines yuk as a hearty laugh.  The thesaurus reveals yuk is a variation of yuck, an exclamation: “Yuck! What is this slimy green stuff?” and then goes on to provide other words with similar meaning including: “ick, ugh, yech, blech, phew, eeew, gross”.  Reading these words makes me laugh and brings to mind comics and children’s books with lively stories of rollicking adventure and intrigue.  When was the last time you rollicked in adventure?  When was the last time you indulged in a deep belly laugh?  If you can’t remember when, then perhaps you are overdue.

Laughter is Mother Nature’s cure for the stressful, harried lives that many adults lead today.  When life gets crazy, laughter is the perfect break to help you get through our day.  Laughter eases physical tension and relaxes our mind to endure the course.

If laughter does not come naturally to you or it is not a regular part of your daily routine, adopting the sunny approach to life requires practice.  There are many resources you can tap into for adopting a lighter approach to life.  Seek the company of light-hearted people who are fun to be around, collect amusing keepsakes that tickle your fancy, read comics and riddles that remind you of the hilarity of life, watch funny videos that bring a smile to your face and outward chuckle, and last but not least, adopt a playful attitude in life.  Be silly whenever you can and laugh at yourself often.  Being human involves making mistakes.  Embrace the gift of life and laugh every day.  Oh, by the way, you have spinach in your teeth … gotcha!

Open doors create opportunities.  They give you options to choose from and new areas to explore.  Consciously choose to open new doors to expand yourself and experience more vitality in life!

Sometimes we close doors or keep them closed by habit.  Sometimes we forget to open them.  We may block the flow of fresh air coming in, fresh ideas, and fresh new experiences and when we do this, we limit our potential.  This is what happens when we get comfortable in life and stay within our comfort zones.

Picture yourself in a room with 4 doors, one on each wall with every door closed.  There is no fresh air coming in or passing through.  It is comfortable in here since we are familiar with the surroundings but if we want to experience more in life and grow, we need to open doors and step beyond them.

Strive to open as many doors as possible.  If you are feeling a little timid about what is beyond each door, start by opening just door at a time.  Open it just a crack and allow yourself to peer outside.  Gradually, as you gain more comfort with the unfamiliar terrain, you can take one more step at time towards a whole new experience in life.  Open doors await your curiosity!

The one thing we always have in life is choice.  By that, I mean choice from within.  This is a very important concept to embrace when it comes to mental fitness and it is here where our control in life lies: in our choice of responses.

We may not have choice over external events but we always have choice from within ourselves.  Our thoughts and reactions can impact outcomes and they can definitely influence our experiences of them.  Positive thinking and solution-oriented actions are preferred but not always easy especially in the face of adversity.  Sometimes, all we can do is cope and do the best that we can do.

Choose a pro-active approach to wellness that involves strategies with long-term benefits.  Consciously choose responses that bring win-win and do not lead to greater problems or illness.  This is a key to living well.  What areas of your life are you making good choices for yourself and what areas could be improved?

Stress comes from internal sources as well as external.  Just as our environment induces stress, so too does our mind.  Apparently, we humans are the only mammals who create our own stresses from within.  Dr. Sapolsky highlights this fact in his book titled: “Why zebras don’t have ulcers”.  It is an amusing observation that reveals an important lesson for humans.

The main source of stress for zebras is the threat of survival.  In contrast, the source of stressors for humans varies greatly and includes anything from completing a task and getting somewhere on time to more serious life threatening issues.  It becomes evident that we all need to keep the big picture in mind as we go about our daily lives.  We all need to ask ourselves from time to time:  “Is this worth stressing over?”  Sometimes we stress over things unnecessarily and bring on added stresses, which only makes it harder for us.  We would benefit greatly if we take a lesson from zebras and keep your ‘stripes’ in order.