Shame is often derived from early childhood experiences. Many people feel the effects of shame from discrimination, poverty and racism. Rectify past issues by embracing the second important lesson for releasing shame:
Say to yourself, “I am not my shame.” Mindfully work towards freeing yourself from limiting thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you in life. Believe that you are much more than any emotion that arises within you.
Shame is a troublesome feeling that blocks progression in relationships. It often evokes silence and in order to free self from this entangled emotion, it is vital to explore inner responses, thoughts, beliefs and stories you may hold from the past.
For instance, if someone from the past frequently criticized you, shame can be instantly triggered today when anyone implies similar judgements. When this happens, you relive the past and fall into your wounded inner child state. Your reaction may be wanting to hide, retaliate or self punish. As a result, you may find yourself stuck in this emotion for years until you are ready to learn key lessons.
The first lesson is to name it and observe it. You might say to yourself “Here is the feeling of shame again. What happened and what did I say to myself to evoke its disempowering energy?” Any thoughts involving victimhood, self-doubt and criticism are key insights for self-healing and transformation.
Shift your awareness! Instead of looking at ‘who’ triggers conflict and perceived differences between you and others, consider ‘what’ triggers these challenges. What lies within you is always mirrored by others. Therefore if criticism or toxic energies enter your environment and you suddenly feel depleted, it is likely there is still some negative energy blocked within self.
Make space to heal unresolved wounds from past. Once you have released them, you will naturally bolster your inner strength and confidence, and experience greater oneness with all. Peace, harmony, compassion and unconditional love will be prevalent in your daily life!
Self deception is a large block to realizing oneness in life. If you hide your authentic self from others, worrying that they will judge or criticize you, oneness will never be realized. We all need to bring our true essence to the moment without masks that maintain a false sense of safety. Take baby steps and trust that all will unfold as it is meant to. When you reveal truths about yourself in the moment, oneness is more likely to happen and become your new reality!
Be honest with yourself when it comes to projecting your thoughts onto others. For instance, you may say to yourself “She really needs my help” or “He’s got so much more potential” and really believe this is true. But in reality, thoughts like these maintains a false sense of hope within, wishing the other person will truly get better. Know that no single person can create specific outcomes in any relationship. There are no guarantees the other person will improve to the level you hope for.
All relationships evolve in a naturally dynamic way with both parties contributing to something greater, something unknown and mysterious between the two of them. Living in the mystery with an open heart is the path of oneness and it is more likely to happen when there are no expectations or controlling energies surrounding them.
Every relationship has unique life energy comprised of those involved. The dynamic is ever changing, evolving with the flow of life. In order to experience greater oneness, mindfully choose to spend time with those you feel a natural flow and mutuality with. Magnetism is a natural force that cannot be created. Be courageous and true to yourself in every relationship. Lean towards those who feel reliable, responsive and attracted to knowing you and supporting your best self. Remember you need to be reliable and responsive to those you would like to spend time with as well!
Soften the barriers around your heart by allowing painful emotions to be felt in the moment. Attune with your natural self which is pure and filled with ample love and compassion. When you befriend protective walls, you are more likely to envision your heart shifting, free of obstructions, tension and scars. Hold your hand up to your heart and visualize streams of light flowing between your hand and heart, you and loved ones and all life on this planet. Let the music of your soul uplift you to oneness!
Find wisdom through softening of the heart. Wisdom is derived from an inner knowing beyond rational thought processes. Attune mind, body and heart in the moment with positive loving vibrations when discomfort arises. Bring awareness to scars in the heart that may reveal themselves. If you observe yourself shutting down or running away, getting defensive or anxious, or blocking feelings in the moment, allow and observe these experiences and shift to a more wise and loving response in the moment. Befriend all parts of self and you will experience greater flow and ease in your body as well as with others.
Know yourself through relationships. See others as a mirror that constantly reflects and affects your being. If pain and fear arises, they may be signals of past traumas that require your attention in order to heal and grow. Bring loving kindness to the moment with mutual respect for self and others. Know that when you heal yourself, you can heal others and thereby elevate soul connections in our world!
Open your mind as large as the sky. Expand your thoughts. You can improve your relationship with yourself and others by expanding the concept of connection you hold. Start to view every human (yourself included), every relationship and all connections as part of the great web of life. No person is better than another. We are all equal because we all move through time and space together, share one breath, one water and all of life around us. We mirror one another in surprising ways and are therefore always connected!