We are conditioned from an early age to make comparisons.  Throughout childhood, we were compared to siblings and classmates for performance.  In adulthood, we are compared to colleagues for professional advancement.  Comparisons serve as a rating system to help to identify preferences for specific situations.

When it comes to self-worth, there is no place for comparisons.  Healthy self-worth involves full acceptance of oneself, without judgement.  It involves loving yourself for who you are today, flaws included.  Flaws contribute to character and uniqueness.  Refrain from making any type of comparisons, including comparing yourself to who you were years ago.  Embrace the unique individual you are today and focus on bringing out the best in you!

Overstimulation comes from a variety of sources.  Each of us have different tolerance levels  when it comes to being overstimulated.  Our technologically driven world increases our risk of it with 24/7 access to unlimited sources of stimuli.  Technology taunts us, distracts us and even directs us in relentless ways if we allow it to.

The cost of overstimulation can be great.  Fatigue, stress, anxiety, depression, numbness and feeling out of control are some common symptoms which have become norms in today’s world.  Rather than depleting ourselves, we can make good choices to reduce the risks for overstimulation.  We can raise our own awareness of the amount of stimulation we get each day and take a proactive approach to wellness.

Regularly check in with yourself to see if you feel overstimulated.  If so, make time to disengage your mind and body to regain a sense of equilibrium.  Remove yourself physically if possible and shift your mind towards soothing thoughts that relax you.  Focus on personal wellness and sustainability as your goal.  Being mindful of the amount of stimuli you receive each day will help to keep overstimulation at bay!

How effective are you in life?  Are you living your life according to what is really important to you?  Stop for a moment and consider your values.  To help you gain clarity on your values, you may want to try the following exercise.

Ask yourself “What would I like others to think about me?”  Consider this question in terms of people whom you respect.  Write down your answers and refer to it often, especially as you create goals, initiate projects and make plans for your future.  Being clear about what is really important to you is key to effectiveness in life.

When setbacks occur and life throws you for a loop, maintain your routines as much as possible.  Mundane tasks can have a soothing effect since they offer normalcy.  Cleaning, polishing and sweeping can all be therapeutic because their familiar repetitive motions allow us to relax and even be productive in a good way.

In addition to mundane tasks, you might also choose activities that are gratifying.  Embrace effort and reap the rewards.  Create a healthy meal for yourself, ensure adequate exercise and relaxation time.  Outwardly, you could join a group activity you enjoy or start that project you have been talking about for a long time.  Gratifying activities can energize you and make you stronger in the face of adversity.  Take a proactive approach to wellness by building resilience in a mindful way!

You can build resilience through assertiveness.  Make a habit of expressing your truths in a tactful manner.  Speaking up honors who you are, what you need and what you think.  This is particularly important in situations where you feel obligated or stuck with no way out.

For example, if a situation arose which required more time and energy than you have available, you could speak your truth in several different ways.  You might say:

“I would really like to help out but I just can’t.”

“I can help out tomorrow afternoon, between 2 and 4 o’clock.”

“I can only help if I get someone else to take over my other responsibilities.”

Using ‘I’ statements allows us to maintain healthy boundaries for wellness.  If we maintain awareness over our energy levels and what is most important to us, we remain stronger and more able to endure subsequent challenges.  Hence, we become more resilient in life!

Here is an interesting way to build resilience that can also be fun.  Express your feelings through a creative mode.  This can be something that you are already well versed in or something new that you have never tried before.  You might journal, write a letter, compose a poem or piece of music, paint, build, sculpt, whittle or carve.  Maybe you will reorganize a closet, create a new recipe or something new out of miscellaneous materials around your home, allowing the project to take on a life of its own.  Working with your hands is therapeutic as it focuses your mind on something other than the problems at hand and allows intuition and insight to arise.  Physicality is powerful since it releases tension within and smooths out the rough patches in life.

Some of the greatest artists in the world have created their best works during dark periods in their life.  Beethovan and Van Gogh are two examples of people who used adversity as a springboard to greater creativity.  You do not need to produce a work of art but only to express yourself.  The magic is in the process and no one knows their capacity for expression until they try it.  Turning negative energy into a creative endeavour can be a very gratifying experience as it offers the power to lift moods and yield new perspectives.

Mind Master is proud to announce this month’s featured workshop on Self-Mastery.  What is self-mastery and what does it comprise of?  According to psychologist Carrie Barron, author of The Creativity Cure, self-mastery is a ‘positive form of self-control’.  In the context of mental fitness, it involves a high level of self-awareness and sound choices for continued wellness.  Knowing who you are and what you personally need in order to live well forms the basis of self-mastery.

While being true to yourself is key, self-mastery also involves compromises without losing yourself.  Adapting to changing circumstances while maintaining healthy boundaries are excellent skills which we can refine throughout our entire lifetime.  The bottom line is honouring and trusting yourself.

Join this 2-hour workshop to build awareness on the essentials of self-mastery and begin your journey towards greater self-reliance.

“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.”- Leonardo da Vinci

Build resilience by working with limitations.  If the setback involves some sort of loss, be creative and conjure up ways to achieve joy and success in spite of the loss.  Losses occur in varying degrees, from temporary and minor to permanent and significant.  Oftentimes, losses feel much larger at onset.  Put the loss into perspective and find ways to work with it and around it, while not allowing yourself to feel overly discouraged.

Action trumps emotions.  Take a proactive approach to wellness and shift your mind towards a ‘can do’ attitude.  Ask yourself, “What can I do?”  Be realistic, but also do not underestimate your capacity.  It is said that we all have unrealized talents waiting to be discovered.  Be open to possibilities and you will gradually discover a whole new perspective on the situation while bouncing back in a timely manner!

Resilience is a desirable quality that can be learned.  It involves bouncing back from adversity in a timely and positive manner while not allowing yourself to get bogged down by discomfort and pain.  Resilience allows you to return to your natural state of mental wellness in spite of setbacks.  There are a number of strategies we can employ to build resilience.  Today I will discuss one strategy which involves managing bitterness.

Adversity is an emotional journey.  It is easy to become embittered when we experience setbacks in life.  Embrace the bigger picture and put your situation into perspective.  Realize that you are not alone and that there are many others in this world who have endured worse.  Find inspiring figures whose stories humble you and use their lessons as catalysts for positive change for yourself.  Shed victim status and take control of your life by making wise choices that serve your best interests and helps you move forward in life.

In the last five posts, I discussed different ways in which we can respond to change.  These include seeking knowledge, striving for ideals, relinquishing to the flow, avoidance, and taking control.  Remember that no one method is better than another for achieving desired outcomes.  The particular circumstances and personalities involved are unique for every person and situation.

The key to success is awareness of your habitual responses and knowing the variety of ways you can respond.  Develop a repertoire of responses and consciously practice them in your daily life. Opting for another approach may well be the best decision you make in responding wisely to change.