Humans are relational beings by nature and thrive through meaningful connections and acts of kindness and altruism. Conversely, troubled relationships bring pain and harm to all. At a subconscious level, all humans are impacted by wars and disasters in the world. Just as we do not hurt alone, we also do not heal alone. Connecting with others in a meaningful way helps to rebuild and heal interpersonal relationships in life. Connection is key!

Which connections require healing and reparation in your life? What can you do today to begin the process? Perhaps it is simply acknowledging the hurt that has happened and allowing emotions to surface. Repressed emotions inhibit wellness in significant ways. Free yourself from yesterdays hurts so that you can live fully today. Forgiveness starts when you are ready to walk the path of peace. Next weeks post will address key ideas and practices that aid the forgiveness journey!

Popular author and international speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer (1940-2015) wrote an eye-opening book titled “Change your thoughts, change your life.”  This self-help book offers expansive ideas and practices to transform one’s life in positive ways. Another way that transformation can happen is by embracing the famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948), “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”  As we embark on 2018, make time to consider the changes you would like to see in your life as well as the changes you would like to see in our world. Reflect upon the legacy you would like to leave for future generations and what you can do this year to make it a reality!

The fourth noble truth emphasizes that the path toward greater ease and peace is found through wisdom, ethics and meditation. Wisdom involves our most healthy perspectives with intentions aligned for the greater good. Ethics involves morally right decisions and actions while meditation involves focused concentration into our deepest, most heartfelt truths. Together they bring us home to our most authentic self,  with understanding and unconditional acceptance in all areas of our life.

The third noble truth is that ease and peace of mind are always available. When we detach from the dramas of mental chatter and land in the moment, we can observe what is actually happening. We can tap into our physical body sensations and shift our experience creating an immediate transformation. Letting go fear, judgement, anxiety, and worrisome thoughts, we come to see the reality of the moment. Stillness of mind can be likened to a vast blue sky, with openness, wonder and curiosity, moment by moment. Envison the sky when you are caught in the troubles of daily life. Perceive its expansiveness and limitless beauty. Experience it as if it is the very first time in your life! This is where ease and peace of mind reside.

The second noble truth reveals that life is painful or difficult because of our attachments. When we stick to certain ideals of what life ‘should’ be like, we create pain for ourselves. The incongruency between our mind and the reality of the moment brings added tension. Instead of accepting what is actually happening, there is resistance which results in stress, strain and struggle. Surrendering to the flow of life is essential in order to experience more peace in life.

For instance, if you believe your children should not argue, you can fume in frustration or accept what is happening and collaborate a solution that yields win-win outcomes. Or if you expect yourself to be emotionally stable during a family meeting and anger arises, you can push away the pain or excuse yourself and allow time to release your pain in an appropriate manner that serves the greater good. The choice is always there.

Eastern wisdom reveals an all-encompassing perspective of the human journey. This view involves four noble truths which help to ease suffering and enhance peace of mind. The first noble truth is that life inevitably includes suffering and difficulty. Anytime we resist difficulties in life, we create discord within leading to imbalance and added tension. As a result, we are out of sync with the reality of the moment, thereby creating extra suffering for ourselves. In contrast, if we surrender to life’s challenges and bring love and compassion to our experience, without adding any negative energy, peace is more likely to arise.

Committing to living by the truth is like committing to living without fear. Fear is the main reason that truths remain hidden. Bring kindness along with right timing and a sense of what feels appropriate to the situation. Dissolve tension in life and entanglement by opening yourself to a world of possibilities. The benefits are enormous with a new level of freedom and the potential to evolve relationships in positive ways. Some may ease or even come to an end while others may deepen and be renewed to a higher level of flourishing. There is natural beauty to truth well beyond what the rational thinking mind knows!

The fourth level of truth involves detachment from the past. Be aware of old reactive patterns that support assumptions and tendencies to be self-righteous, hurt or angry. Take time to bring yourself to the present moment and ponder the reality of what was said or done. Look for common patterns in your reactions, discerning what actually happened and the meaning behind the event.

For instance, if someone close to you repeatedly triggers hurt, question the stories you hold about this relationship. Perhaps you have built a long-held belief that this person is controlling and aggressive which may have been true years ago but may no longer be true in the current moment. Truth at this level reflects the reality of the moment without preconceived biases.

The third level of truth involves awareness of motivating forces within. Truth in its purest sense is rooted in love. Knowing what motivates you is essential for understanding deeper truths within.

For instance, if you find yourself gossiping about another person’s misfortune, question your motivation to see if it is based on a need to elevate yourself at the cost of others. If so, the real truth may be unresolved issues from the past, based on insecurity and perceived powerlessness. Be open and willing to uncover deepest truths within, yearning to be acknowledged and released.

Truths are extremely important when it comes to maintaining wellness. There are four levels of truth and last week covered the first level which involves facts. The second level of truth involves deep awareness of emotions and body sensations. Recognizing physical symptoms is key to opening oneself up to core feelings that may have been subconsciously hidden for a very long time.

For instance, many people hide hurt through expressions of anger while others cover anger with sadness or despairing tears. Awareness of what is happening in the body helps to distill truths that can be ultimately conveyed to others. The very act of allowing truths to come forth is healing and transformative in itself, bringing more peace and contentment in life.