Desires can be a source of tremendous suffering if based solely on having our own way. Whenever we try to control the moment and resist ‘what is’, we unconsciously create difficulties for ourselves. Non-acceptance is tension in itself and may lead to an endless loop of wanting and not having.
At times like this, it is helpful to ask yourself: “What is it that I really want?” and “How will I know that I have achieved it?” It is not necessary to come up with an answer right away but to simply ponder the question and allow it to settle gently in your heart. During this time, other questions may arise such as “What steps can I take to move toward more peace and harmony in my life right now?” and “Can I be happy right now without this want?”
Asking yourself questions is a powerful tool when practicing mindfulness. The mere act of inquiry creates space for you to accept the moment as it is, knowing that you do not have to know the answer immediately or even have your desires met right now. This is the magical moment of transformation, where change is born and tension gives way to inner peace.